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Observations of a Faffologist

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Breakfast Faff
Time spent arguing about who's cooking what for breakfast, instead of preparing for the day's trip.

Car Faff
Time spent moving cars or people around which seems sensible and necessary, but leaves you wondering if there wasn't an easier way to do it.

Initial Faff
The time for everyone to put on various boots, gaiters, waterproofs, fleeces, etc. after arriving at the start point.

First Faff
Corollary to 'Initial Faff' where everybody walks a short distance then decided they are too cold/hot/wet/dry and reverses all the decisions made 15 minutes previously. See picture.

Photo Faff
A relay race of people with camera taking multiple similar group or scenery photographs, much to everyone else's annoyance.

Lunch Faff
Another faff takes sufficiently long that the others waiting decide to eat their lunch.

Lunch Faff 2
If people don't finish, this can occur twice.

Map Faff
One or more group members stop to play with maps and compasses, whilst everyone else repeatedly asks 'are we lost?'

Rope Faff
Unpacking your new rope from the backpack and offering to belay/haul/lift/abseil people up or down even the most trivial rock faces or outcrops.

Microfaff
A short term faff which can be completed without stopping the group - e.g. gloves.

Turbofaff
An advanced microfaff which is performed without even stopping yourself.

Uberfaff
A prolonged rest for all manner of gear adjustments, food, tea, etc..

Chain Faff
Where several people decide to faff one after another, causing gratuitous delay.

Terminal Faff
A faff which lasts so long the group decides to head to the nearest pub or tea room instead of completing the route. Common after prolonged life-endangering scrambles.

Fatal Faff
Poorly timed faffing which results in death through falling or exposure.

Cluster Faff
A faff for all the family, where everyone finds something to do.

Chronicler's Faff
Hours spent writing more illegible [somethings] in the trip book.

Author: 
Rob McQueen